"There's no limit to how complicated things can get, on account of one thing always leading to another."
"The only sense that is common in the long run, is the sense of change and we all instinctively avoid it."
"Be obscure clearly."
"Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car."
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it."
"Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time."
"I see nothing in space as promising as the view from a Ferris wheel."
"To perceive Christmas through its wrappings becomes more difficult with every year."
"Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one."
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."
"Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts."
"The critic leaves at curtain fall To find, in starting to review it, He scarcely saw the play at all For starting to review it."
"I can only assume that your editorial writer tripped over the First Amendment and thought it was the office cat."
"There is nothing more likely to start disagreement among people or countries than an agreement."
"Writing is hard work and bad for the health."
"It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer."
"One of the most time-consuming things is to have an enemy."
"When I was a child people simply looked about them and were moderately happy; today they peer beyond the seven seas, bury themselves waist deep in tidings, and by and large what they see and hear makes them unutterably sad."
"Luck is not something you can mention in the presence of self-made men."
"I would feel more optimistic about a bright future for man if he spent less time proving that he can outwit Nature and more time tasting her sweetness and respecting her seniority."
"The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war."
"Writing is an act of faith, not a trick of grammar."
"I don't know which is more discouraging, literature or chickens."
"A writer is like a bean plant - he has his little day, and then gets stringy."
"The trouble with the profit system has always been that it was highly unprofitable to most people."
