"There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise."
"Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half."
"The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes."
"Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates."
"The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return."
"A narcissist is someone better looking than you are."
"I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television."
"Never have children, only grandchildren."
"Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies."
"In writing and politicking, it's best not to think about it, just do it."
"Litigation takes the place of sex at middle age."
"Until the rise of American advertising, it never occurred to anyone anywhere in the world that the teenager was a captive in a hostile world of adults."
"All children alarm their parents, if only because you are forever expecting to encounter yourself."
"One is sorry one could not have taken both branches of the road. But we were not allotted multiple selves."
"The greatest pleasure when I started making money was not buying cars or yachts but finding myself able to have as many freshly typed drafts as possible."
"What is in question is a kind of book reviewing which seems to be more and more popular: the loose putting down of opinions as though they were facts, and the treating of facts as though they were opinions."
"Many writers who choose to be active in the world lose not virtue but time, and that stillness without which literature cannot be made."
"That is sad until one recalls how many bad books the world may yet be spared because of the busyness of writers."
"Television is now so desperately hungry for material that they're scraping the top of the barrel."
"The theater needs continual reminders that there is nothing more debasing than the work of those who do well what is not worth doing at all."
"Some writers take to drink, others take to audiences."
"Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn."
"Andy Warhol is the only genius I've ever known with an I.Q. of 60."
"It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail."
"What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke?"
