"I'd love to sell out completely. It's just that nobody has been willing to buy."
"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty."
"I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don't get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn't, somebody else would have and we'd still be here. Big deal."
"Without obsession, life is nothing."
"Isn't that the most perverse thing you've ever heard?"
"I wish something on T.V. would trouble me. Then maybe I would watch it."
"I'm thrilled to have a completely new audience that I can get from Court TV, without it being my own trial. That was the only other way I would have gotten it."
"Being a traditionalist, I'm a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July, I'm already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left."
"Always be prepared if someone asks you what you want for Christmas. Give brand names, the store that sells the merchandise, and, if possible, exact model numbers so they can't go wrong. Be the type who's impossible to buy for, so they have to get what you want."
"I've been arrested several times. I've been known to dress in ludicrous fashions. I've also built a career out of negative reviews."
"I believe that both Obama and Trump would describe themselves as outsiders."
"You have to think of a new way to make something new. And the biggest sin - you can never try too hard. You can never look like you're just trying to shock people, 'cause that's simple. But making people laugh is the hard part."
"I don't believe that we should never not talk to people we don't agree with politically. If you can make that person laugh, it's the first step to getting him to listen to change their mind."
"I have so many other things going on that if 'A Dirty Shame' is my last movie, that's OK."
"I've been an art collector since the Sixties, and I kept it very separate from my showbusiness career. I've had art shows since the early Nineties, a museum show that travelled to four countries. I've had three or four art books; it's just another way I have to tell stories."
"I like the elitism of the art world. I think art for the people is a terrible idea."
"I don't mind snobs, if they have a reason to be a snob."
"A hair-hopper is someone who pretends they're rich, who really wasn't brought up very wealthy but now tries to brag that they're rich, and they spend too much time on their hair."
"I can make a movie for $5M, which used to be a routinely low, independent movie, but there's no such thing as that any more."
"They all want you to make a movie for under a million dollars, which I don't want to. I don't want to be a faux radical film-maker at 70. I did that. I don't need to do it again."
"My father was horrified by my movies, yet he lent me the money to make the early ones. And I paid him back with interest."
"I always was a weird child. My mother told me the story that, in kindergarten, I would come home and tell her about this weird kid in my class who drew only with black crayons and didn't speak to other kids. I talked about it so much that my mother brought it up with the teacher, who said, 'What? That's your son.'"
"My mother's brother became the undersecretary of the interior for Nixon, which did cause a little drama in my family because I was going to riots and everything, but he turned out great and gave us a nice cheque for an AIDS benefit we had for the 'Serial Mom' premiere."
"I've always been close to my family. I've got a lot of nieces and nephews, but I'm a good uncle."
"I used to hitchhike a lot. I'd come home on the train from New York, and there'd be no cabs, but people would pick me right up and take me to my door because they recognised me. It was like a car service. I never really had a bad experience hitchhiking."
