"Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."
"I think people feel starved of nice, glamorous entertainment. They want to see costumes and gaiety and a singer; old-fashioned entertainment - it won't die easily."
"I love radio and have done a little bit for years - since 'Workers' Playtime' in the 1950s. It's also a good springboard for comedians."
"As you get older, you worry about your memory."
"Part of my style was getting into a muddle. Audiences think that's part of the act. Sometimes it might be - but you have to guess which bits."
"I'm always nervous. A classy comedian is full of self-doubt disguised with an air of false confidence. If there isn't self-doubt, you seem aggressive."
"I have been in the business for 62 years. It's a match made in heaven."
"My first pet at home in Edinburgh was a dog my dad had called Glen. He was a small sheepdog and went with my dad every day to work as manager of a cooking centre, which made the children's lunches for schools."
"We did Donald McGill, seaside-postcard stuff - middle of the road."
"We knew what mums, dads, and children would understand and enjoy without resentment. I don't see the requirement to upset people. You're there to entertain and please."
"We'd never do anything tasteless. There's enough to make fun of without offending."
"If I wear too much tartan, I tend to look like a Thermos flask."
"We had a certain kind of material that was not dangerously esoteric."
"It's difficult to be clean and clever at the same time, but a lot of our stuff was."
"It is possible to have good manners and be funny at the same time. Ronnie Barker and I proved that."
"There was a story saying I didn't like contemporary comedians, but it's completely untrue - a lot of them are very dear friends of mine."
"What is so good about 'Gavin and Stacey' is that it is very real, Welsh, and well written."
"It is all down to 'The Two Ronnies.' Those years with Ronnie Barker were the spine of my career."
"You get fed up watching shows with not much care and love, reality programmes where they put people in a house for a fortnight and film them doing everything, or where participants arrive after lunch and do the programme at six."
"How long does it take to make 'They Think It's All Over?' It's just laughing at each other and thinking, 'Aren't we clever?'"
"I like to do enough work to keep myself sharp and relevant without trying to be trendy."
"I am happy most of the time."
"I have had the most spoiled golfing life."
"Golf is the most fascinating game, but other people's game is the most boring thing."
"I suppose to the outside world I do seem slightly obsessed. But I once had a balance problem with my inner ear, and the fear loitered. Yet I have found that golf is like a yoga procedure for me: it's had wonderful, sedative, remedial qualities for my day-to-day life."
