"Someday I'm going to go onstage in a dress if I want to."
"I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me."
"An actor shouldn't undergo psychoanalysis, because there are a lot of things you're better off not knowing."
"I was obsessed with being rich and famous."
"If I'm not working, I don't know what to do."
"I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery."
"Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household."
"The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt."
"My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that."
"I think basically an actor is a salesman."
"I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church."
"My kitchen is not a place to live in. I made it white so I can tell instantly if it's not clean-and I like it clean enough to be able to eat off the floors-or the tables, for that matter."
"I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe by adding spices, things of my own. I also look for time-saving recipes, dishes that can be prepared ahead and stored."
"I have this beautiful antique silver wine decanter that I bought at an auction. I always pour wine from that."
"My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way."
"The dining room in my old house was truly magnificent, but by far the worst room for conversation. I'd get up from the table, a very long table, and somebody would always say, Paul, I never got to talk to you."
"I don't always prepare such rich meals. Sometimes I'll just serve a simple quiche, salad and dessert for dinner. During the week I try to eat lightly."
"Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!"
"I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day."
"A room is like a stage. If you see it without lighting, it can be the coldest place in the world."
"I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185."
"I'm Liberace without a piano."
"If I hadn't become a celebrity, I'd probably be an alcoholic."
"Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable."
"I wish I had the nerve not to tip."
