"It was probably years before I was confident enough in stand-up that I was able to talk about the things I wanted to talk about, the way I wanted to talk about them."
"You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well."
"I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson."
"You don't really know when stand-up material is TV ready; it's just at what point you're willing to let it go and not work on it anymore. I'm not sure there is a point at which you think: 'And that is finished.'"
"The only thing I'm nervous about is talking to guests like human beings, because all of my interviews so far have been attacking people. I have a genuine concern about sitting across from an actor whose movies I obviously haven't seen."
"Stand-up, for me, is really more of an addiction, so you have to feed the beast whenever you can."
"The British media is sinking down, as the American news media has lowered the bar for all of humanity. British news media is definitely trying to stoop down to that level. Everyone is stooping to the lowest common denominator."
"Here in America, people come out to see what they've known you to do. In England, it's like everyone comes out to tell you exactly how well they think you're doing."
"I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into."
"I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression."
"People are friendlier in New York than London."
"You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting."
"I think Americans still can't help but respond to the natural authority of this voice. Deep down they long to be told what to do by a British accent. That's why so many infomercials have British people."
"It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge."
"If you work on a comedy show, your basic form of communication is teasing. That's generally how we speak to each other: you communicate the information between the lines of insulting sentences."
"I feel non-stop Brit shame!"
"I feel more at home knowing I'm not really at home. It takes all the pressure off you trying to fit in!"
"If you're asking me, would I have voted for Mitt Romney, the answer is absolutely not. Emphatically not. I cannot envision a world in which I would have voted for Mitt Romney unless I sustained a massive concussion."
"Southern people are bigger-hearted and kinder than I had any right to expect."
"Having a human conversation is not something I've had any training in either as a comedian or as, you know, a human being."
"I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes."
"As any Brit will understand, things get a little easier when you don't have to be number one any more. Really, the fall of an empire is not as bad as everyone thinks. It's like retirement. People fear retirement, but it can turn out be rather pleasant."
"There is so much cross-pollination between the U.S. and Britain in terms of comedians. British TV comedies work well in the U.S. American stand-ups make it big in Britain."
"People are always going to say stupid things, and you're always going to be able to make jokes about that, but it should be the last thing you add in, because it's the easiest thing."
"Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life."
