"I was handed a chocolate bar and an M-1 rifle and told to go kill Hitler."
"I have a strong memory of my early childhood. I can remember life before I was two. I remember being toilet-trained like it was last week - and it wasn't last week."
"We never really tried to shock for shock's sake on 'Family Guy'. If something was horribly offensive and shocking, we would put it in if it was also hysterically funny."
"I like all of the early relationship strips that were collected in 'Love Is Hell,' where I pretended to be an expert in relationships and did comics like 'The Nine Types of Boyfriends,' 'Sixteen Ways to End a Relationship,' 'Twenty-Four Things Not to Say in Bed,' and other arbitrarily numbered lists."
"To tell the truth, I don't read children's books. I'm an adult. I just write them."
"In contemporary art culture, where good looks and clever strategic planning of art careers have become a feature, professional practice may be taught in art schools like a branch of public relations or political science."
"We have to be able to poke fun at ourselves."
"We may lose our memory as we get older, but this might not be such a bad thing - who wants to drag a mental junkyard around at a time of life when you're starting to grow interesting little wings?"
"Los Angeles was an impression of failure, of disappointment, of despair, and of oddly makeshift lives. This is California? I thought."
"I've learned to say, 'I'm a friend of Big Bird. He even taught me how to sound like him.'"
"When 'Family Guy' started, we wanted to make it more like a sitcom. And there was very little music."
"Politics remained archaically unchanged in 1999. America was economically strong but morally complacent. It was a year of evil in many ways - another great year for cartooning."
"I do what makes me laugh."
"'The Simpsons' is an especially collaborative show."
"I think people should have the legal right to hurt themselves without fearing that they're going to get locked up for doing so. But on a personal level, if someone I loved was hurting himself or herself in front of me, I would, of course, try to restrain them."
"I went through a phase where people would introduce me at parties as a cartoonist, and everybody felt sorry for me. 'Oh, Matt's a cartoonist.' Then people further feeling sorry for me would ask me to draw Garfield. Because I'm a cartoonist, draw Snoopy or Garfield or something."
"I started working with Timely in 1946. Stan Lee hired me."
"I've also been busy doing stuff for Steve Jackson Games."
"I get mail; therefore I am."
"I did cartoons for four high school publications and then and there decided I wanted to spend my life at the drawing board."
"Whenever I do a book, I'm usually guided by a question or something that I'm trying to tease out."
"I'll tell you what I think is not okay. Have you ever seen that show on MSNBC, 'Lockup?' It's a reality show that takes place inside a prison. Do the prisoners have to sign release forms? Or do they have to be on it whether they like it or not?"
"I look crazy. I know I do. Been true since I was a kid!"
"'Shortcomings' was me figuring out who I am."
"You reach a point where you don't work for money."
