"I've always been known as the fat kid from Stand By Me."
"I'm the kind of guy who can't keep a plant alive for a week, let alone a relationship."
"Playing professional football is something I'll never be able to do."
"I mean do women like to get the crap scared out of them at the movies? Sure. Of course."
"I think it's chauvinistic to think that women don't like to get scared."
"Horror movies are here to stay, you know? It's not a fad. Even the musical has gone in and out of style from time to time. Horror movies have always been around."
"Dogs are the only mammals that will actually stare and look into a human's eyes."
"Any time you're near a kangaroo, it's a close call."
"With Jerry Bruckheimer, you know you'll get your money's worth. You're getting huge action sequences, it's going to be funny, and you know it's going to look great."
"With kangaroos, you say 'Sit!' and they start boxing with you. They're nuts!"
"To play a lawyer and have one year of law school under your belt, you sort of know what you're talking about! I'm able to memorize the legal courtroom stuff a lot faster than I would have been able to otherwise."
"I get very nervous when I have to take my wedding ring off."
"I highly suggest marriage to all my friends who are dating."
"I like wearing my wedding ring, it's nice."
"I think of myself as a funny guy but nobody thinks I'm funnier than my daughters."
"There's no better feeling than making your little girls laugh."
"I grew up with all boys in my family, where there was no place for girlie stuff. But it's amazing to walk into my house now. Everything is pink!"
"It's a different experience to be with your kids when your spouse isn't around."
"When you have little girls, you're the coolest person in the world. I know at some point that's going to end; in their adolescence I'll become the opposite of that, especially if I'm parked outside a high school party."
